They're a Part of Me
by lil'nomdeplume
Summary: Tony tries to suppress his need to tinker in a workshop with his machines, but quickly learns that denying who you really are can have life-threatening results. A three chapter one-off set a few months after IM3.
1. Chapter 1

Pepper had been in their penthouse master suite getting dressed when she heard a loud rumble followed by what sounded like a drill coming from the kitchen. "Oh, God, not again!" she exclaimed to herself.

She quickly ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs to find Tony sitting on the floor, with the refrigerator pulled out and turned around, promptly unscrewing the back panel. "_What_ are you doing _now_?!" she gasped.

Tony turned around. "Oh, hey, baby," he said, smiling proudly. "You're looking _beautiful_." Pepper said nothing, and instead stood there in front of him, glaring, her jaw set. When Tony realized his flattery wasn't going to soften her, he turned back around. "Uh, it seems like the fridge isn't as cold as it used to be. I thought I should take a look, so I got my tools, and..."

"No, Tony!" Pepper interjected. "That fridge is only a few years old. And they don't break down _that_ easily. You _know _that," she huffed.

"Then it's a factory defect on _this _one," he stated, jabbing a thumb it its direction. "It'll only take a sec, Pep." He flashed a quick smile at her, turned back around, and proceeded to unscrew the rest of the back panel, exposing the motor, condenser, and coils.

"Tony, stop! Please!" she said, holding out her hand. She rushed to his side. "This doesn't _need _to be fixed. It's _fine. _I _promise,_" she pleaded. She carefully pulled the drill out of his hand, and he looked at her curiously. She held out her other hand to help him up off the floor. He groused at her, but then slowly gave in, clasping her hand and climbing up off the floor in defeat.

"There, now," she said, setting his drill on the counter. "And you come with me. We need to talk, mister."

"Talk?" he said, cocking an eyebrow, and begrudgingly letting her pull him to the living room.

"Yes," she said, leading him by the hand.

"But..."

"No buts. It's time we talked about something," she said, sitting him down on the couch. She sat down on the coffee table across from him. He looked at her blankly.

"Tony," she began, leaning forward on her elbows. She clasped her hands, and looked at him with concern. "I know what this _is_," she said.

"This?" Tony asked.

"Yes, what you're _doing_," she said softly.

"What am I_ doing?_" Tony said, shrugging cluelessly.

"You're _bored_, honey," she said.

"Bored?"

"Yes," Pepper said, sitting back and resting her hands on her thighs. "You've made good on your promise to me about not obsessing over your projects anymore. That much is _true_. In fact, we _both _know you've shown an immense amount of restraint. And I'm happy that you want to show me you can function outside of a workshop, but, _Tony_..." Pepper said. "You're starting to substitute 'shop time', with...with..." she stammered.

"With _what, _Pep?" Tony said, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "We both understand how I work! I'm an _engineer_. I _build _stuff, and I _fix _stuff. _That's _what I know. And we both know that where it gets dangerous is when I'm alone in my shop for hours on end. We've _talked_ about this..."

"Yes, yes, we have," Pepper agreed, trying to keep the conversation helpful and positive. She'd noticed how many more spats she and Tony had got into since he'd stopped working so much. These days it seemed, when his hands weren't busy, he would get more and more irritable and, worst of all, depressed. This morning was the final straw. "But Tony," she said. "I never said you could never work on any new projects ever again! _You're_ actually the one who decided to blow up all of the suits. _You're _the one who has tried to push away that need to tinker in your shop. But, honestly, it's still _there_. You _know_ it is, and it's making you restless."

Pepper motioned around them. "Every time I turn around, you're fixing something around the house that wasn't broken in the _first_ place. Why? Because you just can't _help _yourself."

Tony frowned. "Jesus, Pep. You make me sound like a junkie," he said. "And me blowing up the suits _was_ _your _Christmas present, might I remind you?" he defended, jabbing a pointer finger in her direction. He shook his head in disappointment. "And here, I thought you'd appreciated the gesture," he said quietly, shrugging.

Pepper leaned forward again, and touched his knee. "I _did_," she said softly, looking into his eyes. "But I can't pretend to think that you're happy. I _know _you're _not."_

Tony furrowed his brow and stood up. "I told you I was _done _and I'm _done,_ okay? Just forget it." He turned his back on her, and stormed back to the kitchen. Pepper followed. "Maybe I should take up stamp collecting instead, huh?" he said sardonically. "Or build model trains, or start golfing? Whatever I've gotta do to..." He stopped suddenly in his tracks.

Pepper frowned. "Tony?" she said quietly.

He slowly turned around to face her, the color suddenly draining out of his face. His eyes were wide and glassy. "Pep-Pepper?" he gasped, suddenly looking at her with sheer panic. He gripped his chest. He suddenly felt very dizzy, and grasped the back of a kitchen stool for support.

"Tony?!" Pepper said, rushing to his side. "What's wrong?! Tell me! What's happening?!"  
>He gritted his teeth and groaned in pain, dropping to one knee, his chest heaving rapidly to catch his breath. Pepper dropped with him. She cupped his face in her hands, putting the back of her hand to his forehead, feeling his temperature rise. His skin felt clammy, and his pupils were dilated.<p>

"Heart," he said, gasping. He swallowed hard, looking at her. "Something's wrong with...my _heart,_" he said, struggling to get the words out. He rolled back on his hip to sit down, but quickly laid down, continuing to gasp. He vigorously rubbed his breast bone, his breathing becoming quite labored. His face was tensely grimaced in pain, and he groaned. Pepper braced herself over the top of him, her eyes wide with panic.

"Oh, God!" Pepper cried. "JARVIS! Call the Tower EMT's! Hurry!" she ordered.

"Right away, madam," the AI responded.

Pepper looked back at her boyfriend, helplessly. "Tony! Just hold on! It's going to be okay!" she said, as tears began to form and run down her cheeks. She stroked his face and hair, as beads of sweat formed on his brow. "Oh,God! Where _are _they?" she cried, to herself. She watched as he began looking more and more fatigued. He tried to keep his eyes focused on her's, but his vision was quickly blurring.

"Don't leave me, Tony! Just hold on! Please! Stay with me!" he heard her say.

Despite his best efforts, Tony couldn't help but close his eyes, hearing Pepper's desperate pleas and the sound of her softly crying before everything went silent.


	2. Chapter 2

Pepper rocked back and forth in a chair in the infirmary waiting room, nervously waiting for the doctors to come talk to her. She said a private thanks for the fact that home was only 6 floors up, and Tony had had the foresight enough to equip the tower with what amounted to their own private hospital, for their and the other Avenger's use, with specialists and surgeons on call 24/7.

The EMT's were able to revive Tony on the way, luckily, but his heart rate was still erratic and he still complained of chest pains. So, currently, he was in x-ray with a cardiologist, and she had been assured by a nurse that as soon as they knew whether or not he'd have to have emergency heart surgery, she'd be informed.

Pepper had called Rhodey to let him know of what had happened, but unfortunately he was tied up on base in California for the next few days. He'd promised to come see his best friend the minute he could break away if he did, in fact, end up needing surgery. In the past, whenever something catastrophic had happened with either one of them, Rhodey was the first to know and the first one there to offer support. So Pepper felt lonely, now, with no one's shoulder to cry on.

She chewed her lip anxiously, feeling like she was stuck in a nightmare from which she couldn't awaken. She watched the clear glass doors marked _Emergency Staff Only, _secretly willing the doctor to come through them. But, frustratingly, willing them didn't work, and she was forced to wait, her body over-flowing with nervous tension.

She decided to stand up. It had been hours since she'd stood, and her back and legs ached. She turned her back from those accursed doors and began to pace, wringing her hands impatiently as she walked back and forth across the floor. She brushed her hair behind her ears with shaky hands.

"_Please_," she whispered silently. "Please _please _don't take him from me," she pleaded to the heavens. "I can't lose him."

Just then, the cardiologist on call walked through the door, and Pepper rushed to meet him. He was somewhere in his late fifties to early sixties, tall and portly in stature, with a mop of curly salt-and pepper hair, large round eyes, and thick round glasses. He smiled warmly when he saw her.

"What's going on?! Is he okay?!" she demanded.

The doctor patted her shoulder. "He's _fine,_" he said, smiling warmly. "No need for surgery. He didn't have a heart attack," he assured in a thick New York accent.

"He didn't?" Pepper repeated, looking at him confused. "But the chest pains, and the gasping for air! He even lost consciousness!" she reasoned.  
>"He had a severe anxiety attack. Mr. Stark let me know that he's been prone to them in the past, correct?", the doctor said, smiling warmly.<p>

Pepper nodded numbly.

"And we took x-rays, monitored his EKG, we did blood work, the whole she-bang. And everything is _normal,_" he reassured. "He's as fit as a fiddle, as they say."

"The whole she-bang?" Pepper mumbled. "_Normal?_"

The doctor smiled and nodded. "Yes! He's going to be _just fine._ Just make sure he finds a hobby to direct all of that nervous energy into, huh? It sounds like he's been feeling a bit...eh, shall we say, _disengaged_ lately?"

Pepper looked at the doctor sidelong, as he guided her through the doors and down the corridor from which he came, guessing that Tony had probably filled his ear with complaints about their compromise. "Doctor, _he's _the one who's decided to stop working," she said defensively. "I only told him he needed to _slow down_. If you would've _seen_ the way he was going before, you would have recommended a very long vacation, _trust _me," she said.

The doctor stopped at a recovery room door. A plastic hanging file holder hung on the door,with a single manila file sticking out of it. Pepper noticed the tab on the file read _Anthony Stark. _Her heart fluttered with the idea that her love was behind that door, alive and well.

He chuckled. "Funny, you and he share the same outlook on that," he said. "But I think the final consensus should be, that whatever Tony decides to do going forward, that it's done with balance, support, and, above all _moderation._ Wouldn't you agree?"  
>Pepper looked at the doctor and nodded silently. "<em>Absolutely<em>," she murmured.

"He's a tinkerer, right? So let him _tinker_," the doctor advised. "Just not constantly. And not _never._ Get it?" the doctor said jovially.  
>"Got it," Pepper said, smiling.<p>

"Ah, _that's_ a kid. You can go on in and see him. He's _dying_ to see you, too. Well, not _literally, _anyway. Not _today_," the doctor joked. "Sorry, a little doctor humor."

Pepper chuckled bashfully, appreciating the doctor's efforts to lift her spirits.

"And whenever he's ready, go home. He's got no need to stay here. If any problems arise, you know where to find me."

Pepper smiled widely and nodded. "Yes, and _thank you, _Doctor," she said. "For _everything._"

The Doctor turned to go, "My pleasure, dear. Just take good care of him for me, huh?"

"I _will_," Pepper promised. She watched him as he waved and walked away happily. Pepper sighed a giant sigh of relief as she turned to open the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper opened the door to find Tony, in bed in a hospital gown, softly dozing. Upon hearing her enter, he raised his head, opening sleepy eyes to see her. "Hey!" he said, in a soft whisper. "Aren't _you _a sight for sore eyes."

Pepper's breath caught in her chest as a soft sob came out of her throat. Realizing that trying to keep her composure was a futile exercise, she ran to him and crashed into his open arms, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, sobbing softly against his neck.

"Whoa! Hey, Pep! Hey, it's okay! I'm okay!" he said, smiling into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her. He rubbed soothing circles on her back for a few moments until she stopped sobbing. Tony turned his head to kiss her hair, and inhale her scent. Even in the few short hours since he'd been admitted, he'd missed her presence like he'd been away from her for days.

Slowly, she pulled back to sit on the edge of the bed. She looked at him with sorrowful eyes. He gently brushed her hair behind her ears, and smiled at her. She searched his eyes before she started to speak. "I thought I lost you!" she whispered finally, looking away sorrowfully.

Tony ducked his head to look into her eyes. "I know, baby," he said softly. "And I'm sorry that I scared you, okay? But the Doc says I'm _fine,_" he said, trying to reassure her.

Pepper nodded. "Yeah, I know. And thank _God,_" she said gratefully.  
>Tony nodded. "Yeah, we're <em>good<em>," he reassured. He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, and Pepper smiled through her tears.

"The Doctor says you need somewhere to pour your nervous tension into," she said.

Tony frowned, and recoiled a bit. "_Pepper_," he warned. "We've _talked _about this. And _we_ agreed that I wouldn't..."  
>"No, <em>you decided,<em>" she corrected, with a lilt of annoyance. "_Tony_," she said, exhaling sharply. She stood up and put her hands on her hips. She wanted to take a minute to make sure her words were clear, so she turned her back to him and slowly walked to the foot of the bed before turning around to face him, resting her hands on the foot of the hospital bed. "I..._don't want you _to stop working on your projects."

Tony cocked an eyebrow, but stayed silent.

"It's like you said, you're an _engineer_. Building and fixing things is what you _do._ And back in December, before the whole Mandarin situation, I never wanted you to _stop _entirely. I just wanted you to _slow down_. You were _barely _eating and you _certainly _weren't sleeping. We _hardly _saw each other, and we lived in the same house!"

Tony pursed his lips, and looked away shamefully.

"You needed to realize that there was more to life than just _building and fixing. _There's...there's _us,_" she said.

"I _know _that, Pepper," Tony responded. "Why do you think I scrapped everything?"  
>"Yes, but," Pepper said. "I never thought you should scrap <em>you.<em>"

Tony's face reflected the epiphany she'd just given him. He chuckled to himself, thunder-struck, his eyebrows raising in realization.

Pepper continued. "I _know_ who I'm in love with, Tony. I'd be pretty dense if I hadn't figured that out in the last decade and a half."

Tony chuckled softly at her words, and smiled bashfully.

"And, because you _are who you are,_ I have to respect that what you do_ is_ _a part _of you. We _both _do." Pepper slowly walked back around to the edge of the bed. She leaned into him and rested her hands on his shoulders. He raised his hands to stroke her forearms lovingly, looking up at her. "You know, I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but you said those same words to me that day in the basement when you finally came clean about everything that had been keeping you up at night."

Tony frowned, trying to recollect. His eyes brightened when he suddenly recalled the day she was talking about. "Oh, you mean the date night I ruined? Yeah, not my finest hour, Pep," he said, regretfully.

"No, it _wasn't," _Pepper agreed. _"_But you _did _say to me the same thing I'm saying to you now. Your projects, your inventions, your _machines? _They _are _a part of you. I _get_ that now. I got it the night I used part of the suit to destroy Aldrich Killian."  
>Tony cocked an eyebrow. "So, what are you saying, Pep?" he murmured. "You'd rather have me the way I was before?"<br>Pepper shook her head emphatically. "No, not _exactly_," she said. "And I _know _that you don't honestly want that, _either_."

Tony shook his head.

Pepper wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned in to kiss his lips gently. When the kiss broke, she pulled back to look at him. "What I _want_ is for you to be happy _and _healthy," she murmured. "And trying to deny yourself the ability to do what you were put on this earth to do _isn't _going to make you either of those."

Tony looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. He sighed a heavy sigh, and looked away. "Building things, working on things, working with my hands, _that_..." he said, nodding. "That _does _make me happy, actually," he said.

Pepper nodded. "I know," she said.

"But, so does something _else,_" he said, bringing his gaze back to hers and smirking.

Pepper's eyes went wide. "_Really_, Tony?" she scoffed. "Even while sitting in a hospital bed, you _still _can't stop your libido?" She smiled in amazement.

Tony's eyes went wide. He laughed out loud. "You know me too well!" he replied in jest. "No, no," he said. "I'm talking about _you_. About _us. _I love you, Pepper Potts. And _being with you _is what makes me the happiest. I meant it when I said I can't live without you."

Pepper blushed, "Oh, Tony!" she said, squeezing his neck in another hug. After a few moments, Pepper pulled back to look at him. "The Doctor says you can go whenever you want. How do you feel? Are you ready to go?" she asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah. Ready when you are," he said.

Pepper stood up, and searched for his clothes he came in with. She found them folded on a shelf in a small closet adjacent to the bed. Tony pulled off the hospital gown and got dressed. He winked at Pepper when he pulled his shirt over his head, and she smiled bashfully.

"All set?" she said, when he pulled on his sneakers.

"All set Pep," he said. "You know, I think the Doctor mentioned something about having a private in-home nurse," he teased.

"Oh, _did_ he?" Pepper played along. "Funny, he didn't mention anything to _me_. Got anyone in mind?"  
>Tony pumped his eyebrows at her suggestively. "I know of a certain spunky red-head who would be very qualified for the job. In fact, she's had over a decade and a half of experience taking <em>excellent<em> care of me, _already_."

Pepper smiled. "Damn right, she has," she murmured.

Tony grinned at her proudly. "So, uh," Tony murmured, pulling her into his arms. "What's the word on finding you a nurse's outfit and making this_ official_, Nurse Potts?" he asked, in a low suggestive rumble.

Pepper bit her lip. "Well, if you promise to stop playing appliance repair man and fixing things that aren't broken," she said. She raised up and nibbled his earlobe, flicking it with the very tip of her tongue. Tony let out a soft groan and closed his eyes helplessly. "We'll _talk_," she purred back, in a hot whisper into his ear.

Tony looked at her with giddy arousal. "Deal!" he exclaimed happily. "Although, the appliance repair man thing _could _work to our advantage, you know," he purred. He pumped his eyebrows and Pepper giggled, opening the door. Tony wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and squeezed her tightly as they walked down the corridor and out to the bank of elevators. Pepper looked sidelong at Tony as they stepped inside the elevator doors. He was smirking, and his eyes sparkled mischievously.

"What?" Pepper said finally, as the doors closed.

Tony chuckled, looking up at the digital display above the doors. "I was just thinking that I _may_ have to go back in soon to have my heart checked again," he said, suddenly grimacing and rubbing his breast bone with the tips of his fingers.  
>"What?!" Pepper cried. She immediately laid a protective hand over his heart. "Why? What are you feeling? Are you okay? Tell me what hurts!" she said frantically, her face panicked.<p>

"Mmmmm, I don't know Pep! Suddenly," he said, wincing and pursing his lips. "The thought of you in a nurse's uniform is giving me palpitations," he said, turning his grimace to a sly smirk.

Pepper slapped his shoulder. "Jerk!" she squeaked, trying not to smile at his antics. "That isn't funny!"

Tony flinched and giggled. "Ow!" he said, at her slap. He pointed an accusing finger at her. "Hey, that's not very nurse-like, Nurse Potts! You shouldn't slap around a heart patient!"

"Keep going, and you'll get more than that!" Pepper shot back. She huffed and pouted at him, folding her arms crossly.

"Oh, honey, come _on,_" he coaxed. "I'm only doing what the doctor said to do. Find a _hobby,_" he said innocently.

"He meant tinkering in your shop, not fantasizing about your girlfriend in a nurse's uniform," Pepper said.

"Well, if I can't fantasize about _you_, who am I supposed to fantasize about?" he asked. "You know as well as _I _do. My days of oogling strange women are _over. _I'm a one-woman-oogler now," he said proudly.

Pepper studied him for a moment and then relented, softening her stance, and giggling softly. He dipped his head, and slowly pressed her against the wall of the elevator, kissing her deeply.

Slowly, the kiss broke and Tony looked into her eyes, smiling softly. Pepper gazed up into his eyes and smiled back.

"I don't think you're supposed to kiss your private nurse like that," she said breathlessly, teasing him. "It's..._unprofessional," _she purred. She smirked at him playfully.

"Yeah, well," Tony said. "Who said I was stopping at a _kiss_?" he teased back.

"Well, in that case, as your _nurse, _I would_ first_ have to perform an intensive examination to make sure that you are fit for vigorous sexual activity," Pepper purred.

Tony smiled slyly and hummed in appreciation. "Sounds _fantastic_. I'm _all yours,_" he purred. "When can we start?"

Pepper giggled as Tony went back to kissing her eagerly, all the way back up to the penthouse.


End file.
